Rough Day

Well, today was a pretty bad day.

Everything started out fine. I finished up the Theory test (as posted about earlier) and got some Subway. Things continued okay during basketball. I played for about 2 hours and had a great time. Its so funny that I am stereotypically caucasian on the basketball court. If it can be done while standing flat-footed then I am in!

Things turned ugly when I got in the pool. I realized that I am not where I want to be in terms of swim strength for my race. I was so nervous that I considered cancelling. As a matter of fact, I still am considering it. I just cannot even imagine swimming a mile. I do not think that it is a good mindset to have going in. If you can't picture yourself doing it, then its just not going to happen. I want to picture myself getting out of the water, transitioning to the bike and forgetting about swimming for a long time. However, that's just not happening. I really don't know what to do. Amanda offered me very kind words and that helped. She also told me something that my dad said about me to her (can you follow that?) and it helped too. I am just scared. Very scared. I thought that I was going to fail at the Marathon that I did in the fall, but thankfully we made it through that. Having Ben with me during it really helped and made it lots of fun. Its just that at some point I have to start being right about not being able to do things.

Sorry about the rant there. I keep these sorts of things bottled up inside until the point that my anger and disappointment with myself locks me up physically.

The day did end very well. We had an excellent trip to the IHOP ("They give you a hoddle of coffee -- you think somebody's coming, but I don't know who!). Afterwards, work on the OS project was progressing quite well. Then, we got word that it is not due tomorrow. Work promptly stopped! :-)

Okay, its time for an apple and some canteloupe and then bed! Here's to hoping that tomorrow's swim workout is much more productive and positive than today's.